At first glance, this little wand looks rather harmless… Until you touch your vagoo with it.
Jesus Christ.
Thanks to tradeshow connections (and my co-worker) and managed to get my hands on the Zumio, a sex toy “made by women, for women.”
Let’s go over the reasons you NEED to get your hands on this toy…
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Zumio is a sex toy that doesn’t look like one – if someone found it in your bedroom, you could get away with the lie that it’s a face massager or milk frother (because you like your midnight lattes).
It’s actually quite nice looking. The purple pen-like toy has enough weight (for its size) and doesn’t feel or look cheap.
THE PACKAGING
It’s nice to see another sex toy company that pays attention their packaging. The white and purple forms are sturdy and the graphics are well designed.
Inside, you’ll find your Zumio, a charging cable and charging cup. There’s also a bag and instruction pamphlet.
THE CHARGING
The charging port … housing … cup? The white thing you put your toy in. Normally, I don’t need the need for anything other than a charging cable and resting the toy on my nightstand, but with Zumio, the “cup” makes sense (taking extra care to make sure the tip remains undamaged).
During charging, the toy base does get VERY WARM (not hot, you can still touch it). I looked on their website, and enough people have shown concerned that they had to include it as the first item in their FAQ list.
From what I’ve ready, there’s nothing to worry about it being toasty warm while getting some juice.
THE DESIGN
There’s not much in the way of ergonomic challenges to overcome since it just ends up being a thick pen.
However, I will say that the figure 8 buttons are easy to feel and press during use – there’s no fumbling around. The slight curve is also a nice touch and makes places easier to reach.
For those of you who travel, the lock-out option (hard press power button for 5 seconds) is also a blessing.
It’s also worth noting that you should only use WATERBASED lubes with this toy (then again that’s a good rule for ANY sex toy).
PATTERNS AND VIBRATIONS
THERE ARE NO PATTERNS!
I am SO happy about this. While there are a few women who enjoy patterns (mostly for foreplay), most of us can’t stand them. Instead, there are 8 power levels (although I couldn’t get past the first one).
Something else to understand about Zumio doesn’t necessarily vibrate, more concentrates the “high energy density” to the tip. That’s why you don’t feel sensations radiating to other areas around the contact zone – hence the pin-point action.
If you’re interested, their website includes a detailed explanation in the FAQs.
THE USE AND REACTIONS
Okay, when they say “start on the lowest setting” you should “START ON THE LOWEST SETTING.” Even for those of us who are self-proclaimed power queens, this is not like other toy and shouldn’t be treated as such.
The vibrations are so concentrated, that direct, right-off-the-bat clit stimulation isn’t possible – unless you have a less-than-sensitive clit or are in some sort of BDSM torture scenario.
The company’s tutorial videos suggest that you use the stylus section of the toy to stimulate the surrounding vaginal area until you are warmed up enough. After that, slowly circle in on the clit. Once you’re ready, move the tip directly beside (or on) the clit and wait for a pretty intense orgasm.
Personally, I couldn’t go directly on the clit – it was WAY too much, and this was on low! Placing it right beside was very very pleasurable. It delivered quick and intense orgasm.
In fact, the contact was so much, that I could only go for one round. Multiple orgasms are not on the docket for me and this toy.
QUALITY CONCERNS?
It’s engineered in Canada and America and then manufactured in China.
The “made in China” thing might put some people off, but since it’s a North America company that is exporting to their own soil (as well as other countries with stricter regulations and expectations), I’m confident that they are keeping the material and manufacturing quality in check.
This confidence is also backed up by the fact that Zumio is making itself known at various sex toy trade shows as well as hosting strong, online champagnes – and not some anonymous seller hiding behind an Amazon account or a generic sex toy distributor that sells everything from nipple clamps to house slippers.
OTHER THINGS TO NOTE
- It’s easy to clean
- You can NOT use this toy internally. You hear me cam girls?!?! No!
- It’s waterproof, but they don’t recommend keeping underwater for TOO long
- If you want a longer, gentler masturbation experience, use a different toy
POSSIBLE NEGATIVES
- I can see this toy being too much for some people. Since it’s also a new experience, I bet there will be a few impatient users who don’t bother reading the instructions and therefore have less-than-happy experiences.
- There IS a bag, but I’m worried the tip will break, so I just keep it in the box. If you’re traveling, make sure you pack it securely so nothing gets snapped off.
- The foam insert sheds a bit. It doesn’t affect the toy, but it’s still worth mentioning.
- Although they advertise that it’s good for solo play or use with a partner, I wouldn’t let my man touch this at all. Mostly because it requires such a precise touch, I would spend more time telling him what to do and how to do it, than enjoying the experience.
THE PRICE
This bad boy will set you back around $140. This might be prohibitive for some people. Normally, I would suggest going to a brick-and-mortar store to feel one, but I’m having a hard time finding options in that department.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
This was a concern from another reviewer that the company data they put forth might create unrealistic expectations – things like “89% of women experience an orgasm after in less than 5 minutes” and if you couldn’t do that, you might think your vagoo was broken.
My take? The entire purpose/design of the toy is meant for quick orgasms. And, if the company is going to use that as their main selling point, having some numbers to back it up makes sense.
Also, buying sex toys is never a 100% fits-all scenario. Prostate massagers are a good example – there are plenty that offer a “perfect fit” when, in reality, there will always be those who aren’t compatible with them and end up finding only one or two that work.
Zumio has tried to make something to reach a larger user base, but there will always be someone who finds it just doesn’t work for them. If that’s the case, there’s no need to take it personally and think you’re erroneous zones are out of whack.
Besides, that’s was return policies are for.
CONCLUSION
I rather liked Zumio. It’s not something I’m going to use on a daily basis, but it will be a handy/welcomed addition if I need something quick or are looking for a different experience.
There are a few negatives, but the positives outweigh them.
If you’re on a budget (and aren’t positive you want to try it) I would recommend waiting until it A. it goes on sale or B. you can feel one before you buy it.
Rating: 8.5/10
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Also, if you liked this article, you might enjoy these as well…
- The 10 Best Rabbit Vibrators
- 10 G-Spot Vibrators – Which are Worth Your Money?
- How Does the Original Hitachi Magic Wand Compare to Other Wands?
Have you tried Zumio? Share your experiences or thoughts in the comments.
DISCLAIMER: I received this toy from the Zumio people via a sex toy trade show in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.
