Testing or reviewing sex toys might sound like a dream come true for some people – especially if there’s a chance of getting free sex toys in the process.
However, it’s not as simple as trying it once and writing a sentence or two that you did or didn’t like it.
So, what does it mean to be a professional sex toy tester? Let’s see…
1. EDUCATE YOURSELF
There’s a lot to know when it comes to sex toys and you need to do some serious research before you can analyze a toy.
For example…
CLEANING – What are the best sex toy cleaning practices? How easy is it to clean the toy you’re currently testing? Are there difficult nooks and crannies that could be missed and have body fluid build up?
MATERIALS – Some materials are safe. Some are very dangerous for the body. And, unfortunately, there is plenty of the latter on the market. Aside from that, you need to pay attention to how the material feels.
VIBRATORS/MOTORS – How strong is it? How long does the motor last? What’s the recharge time like? Is it rechargeable or does it need batteries?
BRANDS/COMPANIES – Knowing the difference between a white brand, a name brand, and a distributor that sells both is essential.
HUMAN ANATOMY – Is the toy made to complement the human body while being safe at the same time? For example, a butt plug needs a wide base to be considered safe.
Also, are the bells and whistles hitting the right areas or is a decent enough shape that will accommodate most body styles within that demographic?
It might also sound weird but knowing your body in relation to the toy is useful. For example, many sex toy reviewers will have a disclaimer stating what their cervix is like, genital sensitivity, and vibration preferences.
This isn’t meant to gross people out. At minimum, this allows readers to know that if they have similar qualities, they might have a similar experience (or not, if they’re different).
WANT TO KNOW MORE? Check out the links at the bottom of the article for more about sex toys, materials, safety etc.
2. YOU HAVE TO BE DETAILED
If it’s as a reviewer, this means right down to the packaging, reading instruction booklets from start to finish, testing sounds levels, checking everything that is included with the toy etc.
Also, taking pictures of everything is a must. Everything from charging cables to silk baggies.
And (if it’s as a sex toy tester) the more information you pass on, the more improvements can be made. So, don’t skimp out.
3. YOU HAVE TO TEST IT MORE THAN ONCE
Your mood and current body state will affect how a sex toy feels. For example, trying a toy on a women’s period will not feel the same as when she’s not on her cycle. So, multiple tries are necessary for any decent feedback.
4. YOU MIGHT GET EARLY-STAGE TOYS
New sex toys (as opposed to white brand copies) will always have a “rough copy” or prototype stage. I mean, you need to start somewhere right? And, while some companies will get their employees to do the testing, some might outsource the job to some trusted users/customers.
EXAMPLE: I once got a prototype that was so rough, there wasn’t actually a battery compartment … just wires that fed into a voltage box.
Being part of the creation process is kinda of cool, but it requires a different mindset and extensive levels of feedback.
5. IT DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN FREE SEX TOYS
If you’re lucky, you’ll find a company that will spring for some free toys. But some of the larger distributors will expect you to buy several toys, leave a review for each, and then they might give you a freebie from your wish list.
Also, if you’re a blogger, writer, or social media whatever, and you dream of cold-contacting a sex toy company with a request to get a free sample to “test in exchange for an honest review” … you can keep dreaming.
Remember that you’re dealing with a business – and if they’re giving you something, they’re going to want something in return. So, unless you can prove that you can drive traffic to their website or store (and it would need to be significant) they won’t be interested.
6. THEY DON’T ALWAYS FEEL GOOD
It’s not a rollercoaster ride of endless orgasms. In fact, even though having an orgasm is great, it’s not the only goal of your time with the toy.
It’s also inevitable that…
You’re going to find toys that you just don’t like because they’re not something you would normally use, or the design isn’t conducive to your body type – or they’re just poorly made.
This brings us to the next part…
7. YOU NEED TO BE OBJECTIVE
There’s a big difference between not liking a toy because it just doesn’t align with your preferences versus not liking a toy because it’s garbage.
FOR EXAMPLE: If you prefer deep, strong, rumbly vibrations, but the toy you’re testing is light and buzzy, that doesn’t make it a bad toy. However, if the vibrator barely works and quits after 15 minutes, then it’s a bad toy.
I also can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen people complain that a toy is “bad” or not worth the money because it’s in a color they don’t like… Seriously?
A tester or reviewer also needs to be able to balance the negative and the positive – because a toy is not wholly great or terrible.
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So, is being a sex toy tester or reviewer a lot of hard work? Yep. But is it a fun job or hobby to have. Absolutely!
Also, here are the informative articles I promised earlier…
- Sex Toys 101 – A Positive and Detailed Beginner’s Guide
- Glass Sex Toys and The Truth – Are They Really Safe?
- Or check out the plethora of information in the Toy Chest section of this blog
What are some amazing or terrible sex toys you’ve come across? Share in the comments!
