First, I’m going to add the disclaimer that this particular fetish might seem very alluring, but there’s far more than meets the eye – take it from someone who gave it a try for two years.
WHAT IS FINDOM?
Fin-dom is short from for Financial Domination. In the simplest terms, the dominant person gets money from the submissive person with nothing expected in return – that’s it.
WHY DO SOME PEOPLE LIKE IT?
Just like any kink, there are people who enjoy various forms of control – physical (like bondage) or mental (like humiliation). In this case, money is the main form of control. For obvious reasons, the receiver (the Findom) enjoys it because it’s money for “nothing” (but we will look at that in more detail later because that’s not exactly true). They also like the aspect of control or possible humiliation, worship, or consensual games that can go with it.
The same goes for the one who hands over the money. They are sometimes called pay-pigs, cash-cows, fin-subs, pay-pups and many other similar terms. The Findom in charge might also have a special name he/she uses specifically for their subs.
A submissive can enjoy it for many reasons…
- Worshiping a “goddess/god”
- Enjoying seeing what is bought and having pride in contributing
- The act of service and making their Dom or Domme’s life easier
- The feeling of control or humiliation
- The thrill of maybe handing over money in real life but never touching
- Having someone better equipped to handle their money and budgeting
- Guilt at having so much and feeling like you should give back, but you want it within the kink zone rather than the charity zone.
- The list goes on and can get very specifically personal (as to motivation)
WHO IS INTO IT?
You would be surprised, but it can be just about anyone. Granted, it’s dominated by women on top and men as the servants. But I’ve seen gay, lesbian, bi, and couples on both sides of the coin.
SOME HARD TRUTHS
1. IT’S “EASY” MONEY – That’s what everyone thinks when they first hear of this kink. But, sorry to burst your bubble but, no it’s not. Not … at … all.
One major reason is because of the competition. It’s everyone making the first makes of believing in this first myth (that you’ll get free cash fast). Nope. IT’S A BUSINESS.
- You have to know how to handle your time and money.
- You need to market yourself and have a brand or image.
- It requires some degree of psychology – knowing the person or target audience you’re dominating and how to “drain” them responsibly.
- You need to compete against the barely-over-eighteen girls that have no idea what they’re doing.
2. SEX OR NUDITY IS OPTIONAL – Don’t kid yourself. This is sex work.
However, whether or not you choose to be naked or fully clothed in your streaming, clips, or photos is up to you. There’s nothing wrong with either way or any way in between. It just comes down to you and your target group. I know one particularly famous and well-known woman who makes serious cash while showing very little skin.
As for sex – giving gift clips for “rewards” (where you are naked) is entirely up to you. However, Findom doesn’t mean the customer gives money and gets physical sex from the Dom or Domme. If you’re trading money for sex, that’s a different kind of sex worker – and I’m not judging, just pointing out the difference.
3. THERE ARE IMPOSTERS – The idea of easy money will attract anyone and everyone. This includes things like a sexy blonde with Double-D boobs that is taking your money, but it’s really a man on the other side of the screen.
Also, there have been cases where people will steal the profile and pictures of a successful Findom and post under a slightly different name (like adding an underscore or a dash, etc.) to try and siphon off some of their pay slave’s cash.
Another hard fact is some of these people (either on top or on the bottom) are under eighteen. This is illegal no matter which way you try to turn it. They might say they are of legal age but are lying.
4. IT WON’T ATTRACT CREEPS – It doesn’t matter how clear your Twitter or blog rules are, you’ll always get those that ignore everything and just tell you what they want in exchange for money or ask you to do things you’ve already clearly stated you won’t.
Then there are just the perverts who try to get your attention (even through flaming, insulting, or harassment) in order to get themselves a free masturbation session – yes, people like this exist.
ADVICE – Totally ignore them and don’t feed these kinds of trolls. Not a single word back to them.
5. IT’S A HAPPY, FUN COMMUNITY – A little, yes. But sadly, it’s very cut-throat. It’s especially hard on people who are other than “white” or “drop-dead gorgeous” in appearance. Body size, transgender, or other groups that already have a hard time fighting for their justified place in this world have it harder.
These groups aren’t necessarily minorities, they are hustling like everyone, but they usually have to work twice as hard. If you’re in these groups, you have my love and support. If you enjoy it, stay strong!
Aside from discrimination, there are the women (and sometimes men) who trash talk others, try to steal customers, or don’t handle their submissive in responsible ways.
For example, I made my rules clear that I would not accept subs that would ignore their family and/or children’s financial needs in lieu of their Findom’s demands. I also would never “drain” someone to the point they wouldn’t be able to care for their own needs – like food, rent, health, etc. There are some out there who don’t care and will try to take everything (knowing fully well that the payer is addicted).
There is one bright light at the end of this tunnel.
They are still great people out there. They care. They are responsible. They support each other. I’ve even seen Findoms gift other Findoms just to show friendship, respect, or to celebrate a birthday or special event.
Another occasionally annoying thing is the “InstaDom” – Instagram Dommes. They come over from Instagram solely on their physical attraction and try to compete with the Twitter side. They often have no idea what they are doing. Or, it can also be “Instant Dommes”, which are the people who come in also having no idea what they are doing and just start screaming “fuck you give me money!”.
WHAT ARE SOME DOWNSIDES?
1. TIME – This is the number one thing that will make or break you. You don’t measure your success in money. You measure it TIME. Time getting yourself ready for photos. Time interacting with subs or possible subs. Time finding replacements subs if one leaves you. Time on social media. Time on forums and learning new things or ways to better your position.
Just like any job if you make a hundred bucks, but spent one week making it … you’re not doing well.
2. “THE HUSTLE” – This is in conjunction with time, but it more focused on how active you are on your social media platforms, interactions, branding promotions, coming up with creative ways to drain your submissives If you’re not hustling, you’re not making money.
3. UPS AND DOWNS – One day you might make a thousand. One day you might make nothing. You might have a great month. You might have a terrible month. It’s pretty much self-employment and you have to budget your finances responsibly.
4. INVESTMENT – Yes, you might want to buy that pretty name-brand handbag or shoes. But you might (or will) have to spend money on your side, especially at the start. Other than time, there are website fees, clothing, body care products, makeup, or whatever helps your platform. Don’t forget your nest egg.
5. BEAUTY VS BUSINESS – You get the woman and men that are super attractive and have piles of cash or gifts just tossed at them for doing next to nothing, and you’re over here working your ass off for pennies. But you could say that’s life in general.
And guess what? That cash you make … you have to claim it on your taxes. Yep, it’s called business, and you can’t get around that – especially since there are haters out there who might want to call the IRS on you just to try to get you in trouble.
IMPORTANT – You need to protect yourself. That’s why you have a “Findom” name, use a PO box that’s not close to your home. But, most importantly, most cash transfer platforms do not allow you to use their services if it is for sex work of any kind. A good example is Pay Pal. It might sound easy, but they hate any kind of adult transaction and could freeze your account. Circle Pay used to be the go-to for Findoms, but they closed down – much to the woe of the community.
WHAT ARE SOME UPSIDES?
1.MONEY (DUH) – Do well and you can make a lot of money or have things gifted to you so you don’t have to buy them yourself.
2. SECURITY – If you invest your money wisely, you could have long-term security or save for retirement (which is better than any pair of shoes).
3. CONTROL – You can use this medium to scratch your domination “itch” without having to be present with an actual person (if that’s what you want).
4. ACCOMPLISHMENT – Similar to #3, if you don’t love it for the sake of the “art of Findom”, then don’t do it. You’ll be doomed to fail. The successful ones love what they do and feel great when they do well but still determined if they have a slow spell.
5. RELATIONSHIPS – You can make some great friendships. Not a lot, but you might and a handful of men or women that you can consider part of your social circle. The same goes for submissives. They might have to bow out of your contract or control (or the kink in general), but they might be lasting social connections.
IS IT WORTH IT?
This is a question that only YOU can answer.
For me, I did the hustle as best as I could, but after a couple of years, but it came down to the choice two paths and which I wanted to devote my time to (because each one would require a huge chunk of my life). In the end, I decided to step away from Findom, not because I didn’t enjoy the challenge or wanted to give up. It was just because the other option was something I loved more.
But, it wasn’t all for naught. I made one good online friend I still have today. I learned a lot about creative ways to make money and different concepts of branding and advertising.
I had an interesting experience that’s a fun conversation topic. I honed my communication skills and ability to read people faster and weed out the creeps faster – which is good if you’re involved in any form of kink or kink community.
It was a fun stint. And one I don’t regret.
Also, if you want more useful articles, you might like these…
- 101 Kinky Things – An Extensive List of Kinks and Fetishes
- 10 Tips on How to Build a Kinky BDSM Dungeon in Your Home
- 10 Tips On How to Prepare a BDSM Scene So Everyone Has Fun
What about you? Any Findoms out there who want to add advice or experiences? Share in the comments. (No site links or ads please).
