Beginner BDSM Kits: What to Include or Avoid & How to Build Your Own

Curious about BDSM but unsure where to start? You’re not alone! Beginner BDSM kits are a great way to dip your toes into the world of bondage, sensory play, and light restraint without feeling overwhelmed. The problem? A lot of the kits out there include uncomfortable or even unsafe items that can ruin the experience for someone just starting out.

In this guide, we’ll help you figure out what should (and shouldn’t) be in a quality BDSM starter kit, what to avoid as a beginner, and how to safely explore new dynamics with your partner. Whether you’re looking for a kit that’s budget-friendly, vegan, or just simple to use, we’ve got you covered. Let’s get started on building the perfect beginner BDSM kit for a safe and fun experience!

What’s In This Article?

Why Most Beginner BDSM Kits Fall Short


purple bdsm kit
This is an example of what many beginner BDSM kits include – Credit: Aliexpress

You’ve probably seen those shiny beginner BDSM kits advertised as all-in-one solutions for curious couples. They sound perfect, right? But here’s the truth: most of these kits are junk. While they claim to provide everything you need, they often include uncomfortable or unsafe tools that beginners should avoid.

What you really need is a kit designed with safety, comfort, and ease of use in mind. Not all toys are made for first-timers, and some can actually be dangerous. Let’s dive into what should be in a beginner BDSM kit and what you need to stay far away from.

10 Essential Items for a Beginner BDSM Kit


blue fur bdsm flogger
Floggers don’t have to hurt! There are fur, feather, yarn, and other soft choices out there – Credit Source Unknown

Here are the must-have items that should be part of any beginner BDSM kit:

Forget those flimsy blindfolds you see in most kits. They don’t block out enough light, and they’re uncomfortable after just a few minutes. Instead, go for one with a faux fur lining. A good blindfold adds mystery and excitement while keeping things comfortable.

Feathers are perfect for sensory play, allowing you to tease and build up anticipation. Just don’t choose ones that are attached to paddles—they don’t give you enough control. Separate tools make for a better experience.

Velcro restraints are ideal for beginners. They’re easy to escape from in case things get too intense, and they’re much safer than buckles or handcuffs. Look for ones with secondary clip attachments to add variety to your positions while keeping things fun and safe.

A bondage bed set is a fantastic addition. These sets are easy to hide under your mattress and quick to set up. As with restraints, stick to Velcro for quick-release safety.

rose silidone ball gag for beginner bdsm kit
Ball gags don’t have to be “balls” there are countless designs to suit everyone – Credit: Source Unknown

Padded collars provide comfort and allow for gentle BDSM for beginners. Make sure the collar isn’t too tight and has some padding for comfort. The leash doesn’t have to be fancy, but make sure it’s sturdy for a little bit of fun pulling.

For beginners, candles are best used for mood lighting—not for wax play. Stick to tea lights for ambiance. They’re less messy and help create a sexy, relaxed environment.

These floggers are made from soft materials like faux fur or silk, even yarn, is perfect for beginners. You can use it to gently tease the skin or give light taps if you’re feeling adventurous. It’s all about building sensation, not causing pain.

Adjustable nipple clamps are fun for beginners who want to experiment with pressure. Make sure they’re alligator-style so you can control how tight or loose they are.

This kind of ball gag is easier to clean and more comfortable than leather or nylon. For beginners, start with a small-sized gag, and make sure it has holes for breathing.

Adding a bullet vibrator to your kit is a great way to mix things up. It’s small, discreet, and perfect for beginners who want to explore without overwhelming themselves with too many tools.

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5 Things to Avoid in Beginner BDSM Kits


beginner bdsm kit
Credit: Source Unknown

Here’s what you should leave out of your kit if you’re just starting out:

  1. Rope: It might seem like a must-have, but it’s actually for advanced users. Using rope safely requires knowledge of anatomy and proper knots, so it’s not beginner-friendly.
  2. Candles for Wax Play: Wax play looks exciting, but it’s risky for beginners. The wrong kind of wax or improper technique can result in burns. Save this for when you’ve got more experience under your belt.
  3. Medium to High-Impact Floggers: Most floggers in beginner kits are too intense. Stick to soft materials to avoid causing pain or injury.
  4. Handcuffs: While handcuffs may seem fun, they’re not ideal for beginners. They can tighten too much and cause discomfort.
  5. Cheap Lube: If a kit comes with lube, toss it. Cheap lubes often contain bad ingredients. It’s better to choose your own high-quality brand.

How to Build Your Own Beginner BDSM Kit


feathers for kinky sensory play
Different feathers can actually give different sensations – Credit: Source Unknown

If you don’t want to rely on pre-made kits, you can build your own by either buying individual pieces online or looking around your home for similar options.! Here’s a simple guide:

  1. Restraints: Choose Velcro wrist and ankle restraints for ease and comfort. They’re adjustable and safer than buckles or handcuffs. But you can use business ties or scarves as well.
  2. Blindfold: You probably have one of these lying around. You can also use those same ties and scarves to cover your partner’s eyes. But the dollar store will have cheap ones to choose from.
  3. Feather Duster: It’s gentle and playful, great for couples looking to explore sensory play without jumping into anything too intense.
  4. Impact Items: These can be anything from a spatial to a book, or your hand. Fix a texture and harness that you’re both comfortable using.
  5. Padded Collar and Leash: Make sure it’s not too tight and has a soft lining for comfort during play. The dollar store or online options will have you spoiled for choie.
  6. Bullet Vibrator: Add a bullet vibrator for extra fun. It’s discreet, versatile, and great for both solo and couple play.

BDSM Kits FAQs


cork leather bdsm handcuffs
Cork leather cuffs – Credit: Source Unknown

Stay away from rope and wax play candles until you’re more experienced. Stick to tools that are easy to use and adjust, like Velcro restraints and soft floggers.

Yes! A low-impact flogger is perfect for beginners. Start by gently running it along the skin to build sensation, and remember to avoid hitting sensitive areas.

Start with an open conversation about boundaries and comfort levels. Start by introducing light, sensory play with items like a feather tickler or a comfortable blindfold. These tools are non-threatening and can help build trust and curiosity.

fuzzy black fur hancfuffs
“Fuzzy handcuffs” are everywhere, but don’t use them – Credit: Source Unknown

Yes! Some BDSM kits are designed with long-distance couples in mind, often featuring app-controlled toys. These kits allow one partner to control the toy remotely, adding a layer of excitement to the experience. Bluetooth vibrators are especially popular in these kits, as they can be controlled via smartphone apps from anywhere in the world.

Yes, some beginner BDSM kits are designed specifically for people with sensitive skin. Look for kits that include items made from hypoallergenic materials such as silicone or faux fur. Velcro restraints are a good choice because they’re adjustable and softer than leather or metal.

Yes, there are plenty of vegan and eco-friendly BDSM kits available for beginners. These kits use materials like faux leather, cotton, and silicone, which are both cruelty-free and environmentally conscious. Look for kits labeled as vegan that avoid animal products like real leather or fur. Cork is also making its way into the industry for those who want a more eco-friendly leather option.

Conclusion: Safe and Fun Exploration Starts with the Right Kit


beginner bdsm kit
ABS plastic bullet vibratos are great for beginners, and aslo body-safe!

Whether you’re just dipping your toes into the world of BDSM or looking to spice things up with your partner, having the right beginner BDSM kit makes all the difference. The key is to focus on comfort, safety, and finding tools that are suited for beginners. Remember to start slow with items like feather ticklers, soft blindfolds, and Velcro restraints to build trust and create a positive experience.

Avoid rushing into advanced toys until you’re confident, and don’t hesitate to customize your kit based on your needs—whether it’s for solo play, couples, or even eco-friendly BDSM kits. The journey into BDSM is all about communication, curiosity, and having fun while exploring new dynamics.

Ready to get started? Choose a kit that speaks to your comfort level and dive into a new world of safe, consensual play that fits your desires. Stay curious, stay safe, and enjoy the exciting possibilities that come with the right kit!

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