We’re not talking about the scary metal undies we associate with medieval times. Instead, we’re going to take a look at what a modern chastity belt is and the basics you should know before you invest your time and money.
Let’s dive in…
1. THE FUNCTION OF MODERN BELTS
CONTROL – In many BDSM practices there is a power exchange – with one person consensually taking control and the other consensually giving up their power. The one who holds the key is the one with the power to regulate their partner’s pleasure.
TEASE & DENIAL – As for pleasure, if someone doesn’t want to get into hardcore BDSM, there’s the simple act of preventing masturbation and therefore sexual gratification. Imagine making your man wear a cock cage all day and sending him naughty messages.
HUMILIATION & TORTURE – If you had to wear one of these for weeks, months … or longer, wouldn’t that be considered torture? You can also bet that when you take it off, it will be some of the best sex of your life. Many of these elements also add a level of erotic humiliation.
AROUSAL & EROTICISM – It can be the simple feeling of the metal or leather against your skin, or the deliciously naughty secret when you wear it under your clothing at work or out with friends. Even the sexual frustration can be as pleasurable as the act of sex itself.
BDSM GAMES – All of the examples above can be combined into BDSM games – for things like controlling actions or behaviors, maintaining rules, training a submissive, giving rewards etc.
FOR EXAMPLE: Lock one of these on your husband, and he doesn’t get to take it off until his chores are done – I bet the house would be spotless.
Need game ideas? This article has plenty…
15 Chastity Games to Spice Up Your Cage/Belt Play
2. KINDS OF BELTS
The basic design of the female belt is pretty much the same across most models and brands – a belt with a U-shaped strap that goes between the legs.
Occasionally, you’ll see some with extra straps that go around the legs. Some will have a wider section around the butt as well (to prevent anal stimulation).
Male designs are also straightforward, with some tweaks to fit whatever the wearer or Dominant is looking for. There will be a ring that goes around the scrotum and penis, with some arrangement of metal loops or molded tubes/cases that can be locked into place.
You might also find designs that are more in the way of “plates” that compress the gentiles.
NOTE: Most chastity devices will come with a lock and key. Although some might not and only have a belt-like loop attachment. These are more aimed at people who want the feeling of a c-device but without the controlling nature of a lock.
3. PROPER FITTING
It’s important that the device fits properly, especially for men. There should be no excess friction that rubs the skin raw (although some minor chaffing is common). There also should not be any pressure that restricts blood flow.
REMEMBER: These toys are not to be confused with Cock & Ball Torture. They should be snug but (relatively) comfortable to wear. Any discomfort should come from sexual tension and withdrawal.
4. MATERIALS
You should be aiming for 100% silicone, stainless steel, titanium, polycarbonate, or ABS plastic (or a combination). All of these are body-safe and easy to clean.
As for leather, there are plenty of belt makers and kink lovers that adore this material (it looks gorgeous after all). However, it’s important to keep in mind that leather is porous, high maintenance, and impossible to sterilize.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy it, I’m just saying you have to be extra careful with care and cleaning. They also are not appropriate for long-term use.
Finally, make sure that any adornments are also made from body-safe materials and that any promises of stainless steel are real (and not just plated or cut with nickel).
These gender-specific articles will give you WAY more info…
5. EXTRA BELLS AND WHISTLES
There will be differences with adornments, materials, and perhaps specific functions.
INSERTABLE PARTS – Some come with a vaginal dildo, anal dildos/plugs attached to the belt, others come with urethral rods (for men).
TIMERS – You can find locks that count down the time until the person is free or boxes where you can place your keys that will do the same.
BODY HARNESSES – extensions from the belt up to the body and sometimes ending in a neck collar or restraints for the arms or legs.
E-STIM – Electro-stimulation leads that can give the genitals a gentle (or not so gentle) zap.
6. WHERE CAN YOU BUY ONE?
In general, I have a pretty strong “anti-Amazon” rule. Mostly because it’s hard to know if you’re really getting safe materials and construction.
However, if you’re buying one for the first time and have no idea what’s going to fit or work with your body, buying a cheaper device is probably better. That way, if you don’t like it, you haven’t wasted your money.
Afterward, you’re more confident in your preferences, you can buy a higher quality one (and toss the old one … or keep it in a box for sentimental reasons).
- Places like Lovehoney and House of Denial are good places to start if you’re looking for affordable options.
- Extreme Restraints and Sub Shop have some pricier models.
- Fancy Steel has some gorgeous pieces, but they aren’t for the faint-of-wallet.
7. SAFE, SANE, SOBER, & CONSENSUAL
Any time you get into any sort of BDSM play, it’s vital to follow the SSSC rules.
Are the belts safe to wear? Is the Dom responsible enough to not lose the key? Does the sub/wearer actually want to wear the belt?
EXAMPLE: Any time you wear a chastity belt, you’ll need to be extra careful with daily hygiene. But if you have to wear the belt for extended periods of time away from your Dom, they should allow you to remove it in order to give it (and your body) a proper cleaning on a reasonable schedule. If the Dom doesn’t allow removal during extended wear, this would be considered breaking the “safe” rule.
And, as always, the sub should be allowed to use their SafeWord if they feel something is going wrong or they have reached an unmanageable level of discomfort.
Learn more here…
What is a Safe Word? Learn the Basics of Kink Communication
How about you, my lovely readers? Would you want to be locked up or would you want to hold the key? Confess in the comments!
