Welcome, my kinksters!
Today we’ll be looking at the metal monsters that have haunted history and modern versions that some BDSM practitioners adore – the female chastity cage.
However, I won’t be handing over a simple history lesson. Nope.
This post will share everything you need to know in order to safely get into this kink – or at least have a better understanding of how it works.
WHAT IS A FEMALE CHASTITY DEVICE?
The modern chastity belt consists of an adjustable, locking waistband and a secondary U-shaped band that fits snuggly down the waist and over the genitals and anus.
The purpose is to restrict the wearer from intercourse or seeking sexual release through masturbation. They can be worn for a little as a few hours to months or years (with allowances for safety-related removal and/or regular hygiene).
WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR THEM?
CONTROL – A power exchange, with one person holding complete control over the other’s actions and behaviors. You’re forced to seek sexual release or expression on someone else’s terms
TEASE & DENIAL – Even vanilla people know the joy of being teased, not being able to do anything about it, and the delicious sexual tension that is the result.
HUMILIATION & TORTURE – Some people find the humiliation and restrictions highly erotic.
AESTHETIC EROTICISM – Besides being tied to tease, denial, and humiliation, the simple act of wearing one or the look of it can be a turn on.
BDSM GAMES – There are some fun chastity games you and your partner can play if you want to spice up your sex life.
Check out some chastity game ideas here…
15 BDSM Chastity Games for Wicked Keyholders and Playful Subs
THE MEDIEVAL MYTH
We might be focusing on modern models in this article, but the infamous “history” of the female chastity belt is far too interesting to skip…
We’ve all seen the illustrations, museum examples, and movie props – metal belts with small holes to go to the bathroom and a key that the husband would keep when he went away (Robin Hood Men in Tights is my fav).
However, the most interesting thing about medieval chastity belts is … they may have never existed.
Current research reveals that any references to these devices might have been satirical, allegorical, or simple misinterpretations of text – and all the “ancient examples” we see in museums might have been made later on in or around the 18th or 19th century.
How did the myth get so out of hand?
The main theory is that something so deviant, taboo, and sexual (not to mention controlling) was FAR too easy to believe given other medieval behavior such as torture devices etc. So, people just went with the concept.
MODERN-DAY STIGMA
Considering the past (and present) oppression of women, it’s totally understandable why some would wince at the thought of one of these toys. However, it’s important to note that any wearer (male, female, trans, whatever) can say no.
There’s a huge difference between BDSM and abuse. Any sexual restrictions or forcing someone to wear a chastity device out of jealousy or non-consensual control does not fall within the realm of BDSM.
Learn more here…
What is BDSM? 6 Essential Concepts For Beginners
ADHERING TO SSSC
There are four basic rules that everyone should follow – Safe, Sane, Sober, and Consensual. These also apply to chastity play – including the use of a safe word.
However, since this is a rather large (and important) topic, I would encourage you to read more about it. I strongly suggest starting with this article…
What is a Safe Word? Learn the Basics of Kink Communication
On the note of safety, it’s also important to take extra caution with your locks. Make sure there’s an extra key for you AND the wearer in case of emergencies. Also, before you lock things up, all participants need to know how to get out of the belt if a key is lost (and the proper tools need to be on hand/nearby).
TIP: If you’re nervous about padlocks etc, you can look into disposable locks, which can be as easy to get out of as grabbing a pair of scissors. Even zip ties will do in a pinch.
INTERESTED IN WEARING ONE?
First, decide what kind of belt you want. Is it mostly for show and casual play? Or do you want something more escape-proof or hardcore?
Next, you need to collect accurate measurements, so you can buy one that fits correctly and comfortably.
Finally, you’ll need to seek out reliable sellers that offer adequate product details and body-safe materials (which we’ll cover later).
Also, there are several design choices or accessories to choose from – things like…
- Additional leg or waist straps
- Decorative or functional chains
- Adjustable belt straps or removable sections
- Vaginal dildos or butt plugs
- Locking mechanisms or timer options
MEASURING YOUR BELT
You’re in luck! Finding your belt measurements is WAY easier than the male counterpart. Granted, there are many numbers you’ll need to jot down (and you still should be careful), but if you’re off by a little, your belt will still be forgiving.
NOTE: Use a “soft” measuring tape, not the metal ones used for building things.
A. WAIST – Most cages will sit at the waistline (and will be the most comfortable and secure). The waistline is at the same level as your belly button or in between the bottom of your rib cage and hip bone.
B. HIPS – Some models might sit around the hips OR will have a secondary loop for extra security or aesthetic purposes. If so, find your hip bone and measure the circumference like you would your waist.
C. CROTCH LENGTH – First, are you ordering a waist or a hip belt? Whatever it is, take one of your own belts and put it on at that level (make sure it’s snug enough it’s not going to slip around or move out of place).
Next, take your measuring tape and hold one end on the front-middle part of the belt. Then, run it through the crotch and up to the same spot on the back part of the belt – see the image below if you need visuals.
D. FRONT CROTCH – Holding the measuring tape in the same spot at Part C, run the measuring tape down to your vagina.
E. BACKSIDE – Run the measuring tape from the back-middle (where you ended your Part C) and measure to your anus (bum hole).
Depending on the design, there might be more numbers to collect, but any decent shop will tell you what they need and how to do it, especially if you’re going custom-made. For example, FancySteel.com has an in-depth guide as well as email support to help you get the correct fit.
MAKE SURE THE MATERIALS ARE SAFE
Medical grade stainless steel or titanium will be the safest to wear and clean. Other common materials include ABS plastic, polycarbonate, and possibly silicone.
Stay away from leather, TPE/TPR rubber, or anything else. They might look awesome, but they’re highly porous and impossible to sterilize.
NOTE: All of this not only applies to the belt but for any accessories included with it.
BETTER TO TEST CHEAP
If you’re new to chastity play (or any play that involved buying new gear), I always recommend buying a cheaper model first. It should still fit as well as possible, but if it turns out to be something you’re not interested in you won’t have wasted much money.
Or, if you end up loving it and want a nicer one, you’ll be able to adjust your measurements and make sure the next is even more comfortable.
WHERE CAN YOU BUY ONE?
- Places like Lovehoney is an okay place to start if you’re looking for affordable options.
- Extreme Restraints and Sub Shop have some pricier but nicer models.
- Fancy Steel has some gorgeous pieces, but they’re quite expensive.
HOW TO CLEAN YOUR BELT
Some belts are easier to care for than others. Basically, the more doo-dads, nooks, and crannies it has, the harder it’s going to be to clean properly.
And, like the male versions, you’re going to have to contend with sweat and bodily fluids. This means two stages of care…
DAILY CLEANING
You’re supposed to clean your lady-parts daily, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that you have to clean you AND your toy every day. Whether it stays locked on or not is up to you or your Dom/partner.
Clean thoroughly with warm water and soap – except around your vagina, which only needs a soft cloth and water.
No soap on the vagoo! Learn why…
16 Tips on How to Clean Your Vagina … the Right Way
Next is an equally important stage … DRYING. Make sure everything is dried as completely as possible. Use a fan or a hair drying (on cool setting) for those hard-to-reach places.
Why?
Ladies, we all know what happens when we combine long-lasting moisture, sweat, and our crotch. For those of you who don’t … can we say yeast and bladder infections? Ouch.
WEEKLY CLEANING
Once a week, it’s necessary to take off the belt and give your chastity device a thorough inspection. Give the hardware a deep cleaning, get into all the tiny areas with Q-tips, give it a disinfectant soak, and hang in the sunshine for extra germ-killing.
Also, look over the wearer for any signs of excess chafing, irritation, or other possible problems.
And, as always, make sure things are 100% dry.
TIME TO GET CONTROVERSIAL
I’m going rub some readers the wrong way with this part since some people think it’s okay to wear a belt constantly for weeks, months, or years and never take it off unless it’s to have sex.
I disagree. Strongly.
Any level of BDSM play requires respect and adherence to the Safe, Sane, Sober, and Consensual rules. And not allowing removal of a chastity belt for a once-a-week in-depth cleaning, breaks the Safe rule since it can result in infections – infections that can lead to serious health complications.
EXAMPLE: Leaving your girl with her belt on for weeks while you’re away on a business trip, and not letting her take it off for inspection, is not cool.
A responsibility of a Dom is to care for their sub in mind, soul, and body. Being “constantly” locked up should not be a literal thing, nor should it be assumed that their daily washing will be adequate.
Also, one or two situations of “my sub wore it constantly with no problems” is no excuse or reason for unsanitary behaviors in the rest of the chastity populous.
How can we get around this?
- If you or your Dom/partner is of the mindset that a belt should only be taken off to perform sex, or possibly rewards, then a weekly cleaning needs to coincide with these events. If neither event will take place during a 7-day period, you’ll still have to schedule and hour or two for thorough sanitation.
- If your Dom/partner is going to be away for an extended period of time, a weekly cleaning can take place over Skype or other media, so they can observe – we live in the age of technology after all. There’s no excuse.
- Some Doms/partners choose to exercise trust and allow weekly cleanings unsupervised if they can’t be present.
WHAT TO DO IN YOUR BELT
The world is your playground. As long as it’s SSSC, anything goes.
- You can wear one under your clothes as you go out for an evening.
- It can be part of submissive training – taking it off as a reward or wearing one longer as a punishment.
- You can use them as part of sex games
- Some wear them so they can be more sexually attentive to their partner
- Others use the denial aspect to appreciate the orgasms they do get
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
How about you? How long do you think you could last in a chastity belt? Dare to share in the comments?