When it comes to sexual fantasies, having a threesome is always in the top 5 for the general public. The idea of having an extra set of … whatever … can be very titillating.
However…
Threesomes aren’t easy things to navigate – and I’m not talking about simply finding someone you click with and can trust (which is a whole other can of worms). There are deep caverns of insecurities and tumultuous rivers of other emotions that most people deal with at the mere mention of the idea of another person touching their partner.
And while having a threesome might sound like a dream, it might be something that could severely damage a relationship if it’s not in a very secure healthy place.
But thankfully there’s a solution – sex toys! This article will also look at other important points such as how to talk to your partner and how to deal with other issues that might pop up.
USING SEX TOYS WHEN HAVING A THREESOME
With all the options out there, there are mountains of sex toy options that will give you the “illusion” of another person – or at least the pleasure of one.
- Sex machines allow one person to be penetrated while having oral sex with their partner. Or you can indulge in some double penetration. The upside is that these machines are super-powerful and don’t go kaput like normal sex toys. The downside is that any decent one isn’t going to be cheap.
- Bonus – Some sex machines have attachments that let you affix a masturbator to the end (such as a Fleshlight).
- Dildos can give the same pleasure as a sex machine, but you’ll have to have at least one hand free to work the toy. They will be much cheaper and perhaps let your partner feel more comfortable when it comes to things like double penetration (especially if they’ve never done it before).
- Vibrators are a step up from dildos because they … well … vibrate! But like dildos, if you can find a thrusting one with a suction cup, you can attach the toy to a non-porous wall or floor to leave your hands free for other things.
- Blindfolds are an excellent addition because they can help your imagination run wild in thinking there is a third person there.
- Anal Toys can work too (like butt plugs or prostate massagers), but just make sure they have a flared base to nothing slips in and gets lost up there.
- Vibrating Nipple Clamps will let you feel like someone is playing with your breasts while your partner works magic in other areas.
- And, if you have A LOT of money, you could even get a sex doll!
So, you see how simply by adding a sex toy to please another part of the body, you can bridge that fantasy gap without having to invite another warm body into the bedroom.
However, there are toy brands that have gone high-tech and have apps that will allow someone to control the toy from far away or Bluetooth if they nearby. If you and your lover are okay with the idea of giving control of a sex toy to someone (and having them somewhere else) that can be a sexy option as well.
IDEA – Have some porn running in the background so it sounds like another person is there. Could be fun for some people.
HAVING A THREESOME – POTENTIAL PROBLEMS
The biggest issue you might face is having a lover who finds sex toys threatening (sorry lads, but it’s usually the guys). They feel like a buzzy friend between the sheets somehow diminishes their worth as a man or the value of their performance. Or they think that their partner will like the sex toy more than them.
But that’s just it …. It’s only a sex toy. It’s a machine. A device.
Remind your partner you can’t form an emotional attachment to bits of metal and plastic. And it certainly doesn’t reduce their worth. Also (if we take the cis-hetero stereotype) if it was two women and a single guy concept, would having an extra male toy reduce the women’s worth? Of course not!
It’s like asking if you’re going to fall in love with your coffee maker.
…Okay maybe not the best example (since I’m guessing some of you do), but you get the idea.
Talk with your partner. Test out toys in small increments at first. Communicate how your feel during play and especially after play.
The next issue is budget – but that’s easy.
There are so many sex toys at any price point you’ll be able to find something for any budget. Just make sure it’s made from body-safe materials, has a decent return policy or warranty, and read the reviews!
But if there is a toy that you REALLY want and it’s really expensive, just wait for a holiday or follow the site for any sales that could pop up. For example, Lovense is always running some sort of sale.
Finally, figuring out how/where/when to integrate your toys during sex could be tricky. Just take it slow. And communicate. Yes, I’m going to take this figurative dead horse and beat everyone over the head with it until it sinks in forever …. Talk to each other! But in a gentle supportive way that will encourage the other person to keep trying and experimenting.
HAVING A THREESOME – FINAL THOUGHTS
Remember, don’t skimp on the foreplay and have plenty of lube on hand (water-based). With all of this, you’ll be able to give that threesome itch a really good scratch without having to invite someone over!
How about you dear readers? Any other suggestions you want to share to make a threesome with only two people a raging success?
