If you’re here looking for articles on finances, cribbage, or manufacturing reports… Turn around and walk away – right now. Because we’re talking about the OTHER thing that they all have in common. The one that involves the bum. Today we’re looking at what is pegging and how you can do it safely and comfortably.
WHAT IS PEGGING??
For those who haven’t come across the term yet, it’s the sexual practice where (traditionally) a female partner wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates a man up his bum. BUT, it also includes lesbian play with the same equipment.
Simple, yeah?
Not so much … because it scares the hell out of a lot of people (mostly guys). Also because there are still ridiculous misconceptions about anything surrounding the ass.
Let’s clear up a few of those now.
- The anal area is FULL of nerve endings and can be pleasurable for any sex or orientation.
- Enjoying anal play has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
- Women have a g-spot, men have something similar. It’s called a p-spot (prostate).
- The anal canal itself is fairly clean. Poop mistakes usually only happen if your partner doesn’t bother going to the bathroom beforehand (and knows there was a “delivery” on standby).
- Anal sex can be just as pleasurable as other kinds of stimulation.
- Being pegged does not make someone less of a man.
But will everyone like it? No. Some are too freaked out to even think about it enough to RELAX – and relaxation is the KEY to pleasurable anal play.
ADVICE FOR BEGINNERS & CURIOUS
My submissive loved being pegged, so I’ve had enough experience to know the ins and outs of the process.
First, it’s no different from any other kind of anal sex. Your partner needs to be relaxed and the anus needs to be slowly stimulated and stretched out.
REMEMBER: He’s not going to be stretching it that much – we’re not talking German porn videos here.
Think of it this way, you have *cough* daily bowel movements that are of comparable girth. Plus, the anus muscles will go back to normal after you’re done. So forget the “stretched-out forever” myth/bullshit you heard.
- Try “anal trainers” if you’re having difficulty – they are butt plugs that start very thin and each one graduating in thickness.
- After trainers, you can move on to bigger models or vibrating butt plugs.
- Thinner dildos are also better for beginners or those who aren’t size kings.
I’ve already written a dedicated article for it – I strongly suggest reading it as a supplement to this guide. 30+ Tips on How to Have Anal Sex Without the Ouch
Lovense Hush 2 plugs are perfect for beginners all the way to seasoned players. AND they make a great stepping stone to pegging.
USE LOTS OF LUBE!
The anus doesn’t get wet like a vagina and it will need lots of help.
And when I say lots, I mean: apply lube, insert, add more, insert again. Repeat. And probably repeat again. Whatever you think is enough, add more … and then more, and as you play … and more again. Also, stay away from warming and cooling lubes. They might do more harm than good.
Get a lubricant that’s meant for anal sex (the anal environment as a different PH) and check if it’s water-based or silicone.
- If it is water-based, you’re okay to go.
- If it’s silicone, make sure your dildo is NOT SILICONE.
- IMPORTANT: Silicone disintegrates silicone = ruined toy.
- Want to know more about lube? Check out this guide – The HUGE Lube Guide – Everything You Need to Know About the Slick Stuff
GET A GOOD HARNESS
Don’t bother with those crappy, tiny harnesses. You need something that is going to fit you securely, without shifting around or coming undone – and therefore moving the dildo around in uncomfortable ways.
This one is an example of a good harness. It has different-sized rings and leg+ hip straps that are adjustable. The strap material will generally stay put without being uncomfortable. And you can use any toy you want.
This one is an example of a bad harness. The straps are thin and stretchy. This means you have WAY less control over the toy (which could be painful for the receiver). Also, you can only use one toy.
Also, make sure the dildo base is wide enough it won’t slip through the harness ring.
When you’re ready to go, slowly insert the dildo and hold onto the base so you have more thrusting control and your partner finds their comfort zone.
ONE FINAL NOTE
Many guides include “how to talk to your partner about (insert sexual act here)” but there’s already something similar in the anal guide … AND it doesn’t matter how much prep or advice you get, every couple’s conversation will be totally different.
The main thing is to be patient, non-judgmental, open, and caring. And if they give you a firm NO, then that’s your answer.
Don’t push things and respect their feelings.
Any pegging enthusiasts out there who have more advice? Share in the comments!
