Get ready to unleash your inner tease! In the world of love and desire, sexual teasing is a powerful tool – something we can all agree makes us weak in the knees and keeps us up at night. And it doesn’t matter if you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting to date. It’s essential to fuel that spark into a full-fledged forest fire.
But what exactly does it mean to be a master of getting the blood pumping? And how can you incorporate this tantalizing technique into your own love life?
In this article, we’re going to take a deep dive into every aspect. You’ll find ideas on how to tease your partner in person, from afar, how to use buildup effectively, some “goodies” you might not have thought of using before, and so much more.
So, let’s get into it!
Understanding the Arousal Timeline
Let’s start with the obvious one – the difference between women’s (whether cis, trans men, or non-binary people) versus men’s arousal times. Whereas, anatomically, a guy can get it up and get ready and under a minute, women need anywhere up to 20 minutes for the vulva to become fully aroused.
And I know when someone is hot and horny that 20 minutes seems like forever if you want to get down to business, but people need to understand that a lot needs to happen with the vagina to be ready to have sex. The clit becomes engorged with blood, the vaginal canal elongates and then starts secreting natural lubricant. And we all know how important lubricant is for pleasurable sex.
Also, testosterone is the hormone that makes us horny, and cis women have less of it, which is why it takes more time. This is why foreplay is really important.
But this isn’t even counting external factors that have nothing to do with one’s sex.
There are other things that can make it harder for somebody to get in the mood or get wet (both men and women). We have things like medication that have side effects on the libido. There’s depression or other issues which have a plethora of problems that can make intimacy an issue. There can be medical troubles. The list goes on.
So it’s important to realize that things like sexual teasing are sometimes a must-have for some people – even if they don’t have medical issues.
20 Tips on How to Sexually Tease Them in Person
Sex drive starts in the brain, not in the bedroom. And there are so many ways you can use physical contact to sexually tease your partner. Maybe even in ways you don’t use anymore or haven’t even thought about. We’ll start with some main concepts and then go into a more detailed list to help inspire you…
- This can include touching areas that are exciting but not quite erogenous zones. You can try the back of the neck, wrist, lower back (there are plenty of nerves down there), the scalp, etc. You can also aim for any other parts of the body – and a suggestive touch we’ll say everything you’re thinking.
- Then there are actual erogenous zones like the neck, collarbone, ears, inner thighs, and so on. But for sexual teases, we’re obviously not going to go for the main zones right away. Those are left till last – not at all *wink.
- If going down on your partner is the plan, don’t forget you can use your hands on other areas of the body to tease them as well. But don’t just go for the gold. Use your mouth and hands in ways you know they like but only give them a little.
- Try sex toys. However, you’re going to need specific ones for sexual teasing. Things like regular vibrators with buttons can work perfectly fine, but it’s even better if it’s a product that has a remote or a smartphone connection. This way you can use a hands-free toy so YOUR hands are actually free to do other teasing things.
Check Out Lovense Panty Vibrator for Discreet Sexual Teasing!
- Getting steamy in a different place than you’re used to can also do wonders because sexual teasing is all about keeping your partner guessing about what you’re going to do next. So if you’re going to move in for a passionate kiss, don’t wait for the bedroom. Why not do it the moment you get home from work or suddenly as you’re watching TV?
- Try touching yourself, but they can only watch.
- Act like you’re going to go in for their main pleasure point but pull away at the last minute.
- Use your breath in ways that will make their knees buckle. For example, adding hot breaths as you kiss their neck or gently blowing on areas you know they enjoy.
- Do the “almost” kiss. That’s where you lean in to the point where they can nearly feel your lips and you pull away. Make sure they like this because some people don’t.
- Staying with the idea of kissing, you can also pull back if they keep trying to kiss you.
Getting hot and steamy yet? Let’s continue!
- Spend time around the ears. There are a lot of nerve endings around there.
- If you like things a bit rough, you can toss them (safely) onto the bed.
- Grind up against them. We all know that it’s a pretty big sexual tease.
- Give them a massage, but stay away from erogenous zones no matter how much they want it. Also, getting pleasure from a massage without the pressure for sex can sometimes help women get in the mood, on their terms.
- Or, if they’re in the mood, give them a sensual massage with a happy ending. But remember to keep it teasing and edge them towards the fireworks. This way the final explosion will be that much more satisfying. Paragraph try ice – cubes. Lightly running it down their body can be very satisfying to some people – erogenous zones. You can use your fingers or your mouth of course.
- Gently brush up against them in a suggestive way. It’s not the same as grinding. Play footsies. This can be extra teasing if you’re out somewhere and can’t just run to a bedroom. Sure if you’re out to dinner, and you have the cover of a tablecloth, have fun with your feet.
- Try some tickling. Only if it’s something they like.
- Give them a striptease. You can make it extra spicy by tying them or cuffing them to a chair, the bed, or wherever so they can’t get to you and all they can do is watch with desire. Have a sensual shower or even a regular one. Being naked and close together, plus touching, is always wonderful.
- Wear something you know the other person loves. This could be regular clothing, underwear, lingerie, etc. This can also go for makeup if you like wearing it.
- Play adult games together. There is of course strip poker, but there are other sex games out there.
8 Tips on How to Sexually Tease Them from Afar
Some of these are going to overlap with “things you can do in person”, but will group them here anyway.
- Talk about your fantasies. Having any discussions about the wild things that turn you on will always light some fires.
- Use your phone to your advantage and send them suggestive texts or straight-up sexts. It’s especially sexually teasing when they’re in a place they can’t do anything about it. Places like work. This way they’re thinking about it all day. And my god the anticipation is palatable.
- Give them a quick peek at some skin or a delightful flash.
- Whisper flirtatious, dirty, or highly descriptive things into their ear – and at random times is even better. Like how they look drives you crazy. Or how badly you want to take them right then and there. Again, this is most effective when you’re in a place where they can’t act on it.
- Challenge them. This one can be a bit tricky because it’s very personal. Some people like mentally stimulating conversations others like play wrestling or whatnot.
- If you have control over your voice, or you have a tone your partner gets giddy over, you can use that to your advantage.
- And touching on sex toys again, there are ones out there that can be controlled from anywhere in the world. So let’s say she’s wearing a panty vibrator, the other person can control it through an app and make it vibrate suddenly (and at any power level or pattern they want). It’s even better if you have them tell you in detail what they’re feeling.
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Not So Sexual Teasing That Still Lights Fires
You can also straddle the line of sexual teasing by flirting in ways that are more suggestive than dirty. You can say things like…
- “I know why you’re wearing (whatever item of clothing).” And give them a wicked smile.
- Using an endearing or specific pet/nickname that you know triggers them in wonderful ways.
- Mention something about their body language. Like, “Don’t use those bedroom eyes on me.”
- If they make an advance, you can say no. But with a sly wink and a vague promise of later.
Important Notes on Sexual Teases
- Any intimate or sexual act needs to be coupled with consent. So make sure anything you do is okay with the other person. This can include things like what words you use, what place is on the body you touch, etc. I’ll also include the idea of tickling. Only do it in a way someone enjoys and don’t cross that line. Otherwise, it defeats the purpose.
- There’s teasing and then there’s annoyance. There’s edging and then there’s pushing it too far where you can’t maintain that “high” anymore. It’s good to know when to stop the sexual teases and let them have their ending. Or to stop the session on purpose (if agreed on ahead of time) and pick it up at a later time with the intention of giving them their final reward.
- Public displays of affection are a weird thing for certain people. Some love them, others don’t. It’s important not only to respect the person you’re with but the people around you. For example, if there are young eyes present your teasing must be G-rated.
- Also, if you’re partaking in “public play” with a sex toy, they’re really isn’t such thing as “public”. Whatever you’re doing needs to be between you and your partner, because sexual things need consent and the people around you have not consented.
- Discrete public play should be in areas where people will not notice or hear your interactions or reactions. For example, quiet coffee shops are not a good idea for sex toy play but are perfect for eye contact, texting, and quiet whispers.
- It’s okay if things get silly, make a mistake, or do something embarrassing. We are human. The best way to handle it is to laugh about it together. You’d be surprised how bonding it can be.
- If you’re sharing fantasies, never judge what another person shares with you. They are only fantasies after all. Plus we don’t want any sex shaming here. If it’s something you’re into, wonderful! If not you’re allowed to set understanding boundaries. Or, you can find a compromise that satisfies both of you.
- I did see one article mention that you can playfully flirt with other women, but I think that’s playing with dynamite. Mostly because most relationships aren’t THAT solid. Then again, maybe I’m a cynic. Unless you’re in a pansexual, open, spicy, or very trusting relationship, just flirt with the person you’re with.
Sexual Teasing – End Thoughts
Remember, sexual teasing is all about two steps forward and one step back. Giving and then pulling away. Lighting the fire but not letting it explode. It’s about not rushing to the finish line – rather enjoying the time you’re spending together and savoring the other person’s pleasure.
No one forgets that rush when you’re at the start of a relationship or just getting to know someone.
And then the cliché is that it vanishes quickly. However, the excitement and anticipation that makes you dizzy don’t have to be fleeting experiences.
Yes, I know, people tend to get comfortable, complacent, and take things for granted. All it takes is a little extra work (and fun work I might add) to still get those delicious doses of titillation. Sexual teasing really is an art form that everyone should learn and make a point of regularly practicing. You won’t regret it.
Do you have other tips on sexual teasing? Leave a comment below.
