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So, you’ve heard of pegging and you’re wondering, what is pegging exactly? You’re not alone—lots of people are curious about this practice, but it’s not always the easiest thing to talk about. Whether you’re just curious or ready to explore, it’s completely normal to have questions, and we’re here to clear things up! No shame, no judgment—just an open, sex-positive space to learn.
Maybe you’ve heard the term tossed around, or maybe it’s something you’ve been considering, but you’re not sure how to get started. We’re all about helping you feel comfortable and informed as you dive into this topic.
Think of this as your ultimate beginner’s guide to everything pegging, with a sprinkle of humor and a side of helpful tips. So, let’s get comfortable and explore the ins and outs (literally) of pegging together!
How Pegging is Practiced

Now that we’ve got your curiosity piqued, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of how pegging actually works. Don’t worry, we’ll keep it low-pressure—this isn’t an anatomy class, and we’re not about to throw you into any complicated instructions. Instead, we’ll break it down step by step so it’s easy to understand, no matter where you’re at on your sexual journey.
The Basics of Pegging
In the simplest terms, pegging is when a partner uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate another person’s anus. But it’s so much more than just the mechanics—it’s about the experience, connection, and mutual enjoyment. You don’t need to be a pro to get started, and what’s great about pegging is that it can be as gentle, slow, or adventurous as you want it to be.
Whether you’re the one wearing the strap-on or the one being penetrated, pegging can be a totally empowering experience. It’s all about trust, communication, and making sure that everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves. It’s not a “one-size-fits-all” scenario, so don’t stress about getting it perfect—focus on having fun and exploring together!
Positions for Pegging
There’s no one “right” way to do pegging, but there are a few positions that seem to pop up more often than others, each offering something different in terms of comfort, pleasure, and intimacy. Here are a couple of favorites:
- Missionary (Partner on Top): Classic and simple. The receiving partner lies back while the penetrating partner is on top, making it easy to maintain eye contact and keep the pace relaxed. Bonus points for easy access to other forms of stimulation (hello, handjobs or clitoral play!).
- Doggy Style: For those who like it a little deeper and a little more intense, this position allows the penetrating partner to take control, while the receiving partner can adjust their position to control the angle. It’s an excellent way to hit the prostate, too, if that’s something you’re into.
- Spooning: If you’re looking for a more relaxed vibe with plenty of intimate, close contact, this position lets you enjoy the moment without feeling rushed. It’s also a great option for longer sessions!
Is Pegging Only for a Man and Woman?
Nope, pegging isn’t limited to any specific gender pairing. It can be enjoyed by any combination of partners—whether it’s a man and woman, two women, or any other pairing that wants to try it. The focus is on pleasure and connection, not the gender of the people involved.
Is Pegging Only About the Bum?
While pegging typically involves anal play, it doesn’t have to be limited to that. Some people explore different types of play or stimulation with the strap-on, like vaginal or even external stimulation, depending on what feels good for both partners. It’s all about experimentation and finding what works for you!
Is Pegging Safe?

You’re probably wondering—is pegging safe? The answer is yes, as long as you take the right precautions. Like anything in the bedroom, communication and preparation are key. Here are a few tips to keep things safe and fun:
- Lubrication: It’s your best friend. Make sure to use plenty of lube, especially if you’re just starting out. Lube helps reduce friction and makes everything feel smoother. Water-based lubes are ideal for pegging, but if your toy is NOT made of silicone, you can use silicone lube too.
- Hygiene: Always clean your toys before and after use. Simple as that. Hygiene is super important to keep things fun and free from any unwanted complications.
- Communication: Check in with your partner often—especially if you’re new to pegging. Make sure everyone’s feeling good, and don’t hesitate to adjust the pace or positions as needed. No rush, no pressure.
As long as you’re prepared and communicate with your partner, pegging can be a fun, safe experience for both parties.
Choosing the Right Equipment for Pegging

Alright, so you’re ready to dive in, and now you’re probably thinking, what gear do I need for pegging? Don’t worry—we’ve got you covered. Choosing the right equipment might seem overwhelming at first, but once you know what to look for, it’s actually pretty simple. Plus, we’re here to make sure you feel confident and comfortable in your choices.
How to Choose a Good Harness
The harness is the star of the show, so you want to make sure you’re picking the right one. It needs to fit well and feel secure, so you can focus on the fun stuff instead of adjusting straps mid-session. Here are a few things to think about:
- Comfort and Fit: Comfort is key. You want a harness that you can wear without feeling restricted or uncomfortable. Look for adjustable straps (most harnesses are adjustable in the waist and thigh areas) to make sure it fits snugly but comfortably.
- Material: Some harnesses are made from leather, others from nylon or fabric. Leather tends to be more durable and can feel a little more luxe, while fabric options are lighter and can be more breathable. It’s all about personal preference here!
- Style: There are several types of harnesses: traditional (with a waistband and leg straps), step-in styles (easy to wear, no straps involved), and thong-style harnesses (a more minimalistic approach). Choose the one that makes you feel the best and fits your needs.
- Price: Don’t feel like you need to break the bank. There are plenty of good quality harnesses at a variety of price points. You can always start on the affordable side and upgrade if you want something fancier later.
- Fit of the Dildo: Not all dildos fit every harness, so make sure the dildo you choose can easily slide into the harness. Check that the metal loops or holes meant to keep the dildo in place are large enough to fit the base of your dildo comfortably. This ensures that the dildo stays secure during use. For added stability, a flared base on the dildo is ideal—this helps ensure the toy stays where it needs to without slipping out.

This is an example of a good harness. It has different-sized rings and leg+ hip straps that are adjustable. The strap material will generally stay put without being uncomfortable.

Here is an example of a bad harness. The straps are thin and stretchy. This means you have WAY less control over the toy (which could be painful for the receiver). Also, you can only use one toy.
Best Toys for Pegging
Next up: the strap-on dildo. This is the tool of the trade, and there are a lot of options out there. It’s important to pick one that suits your comfort level, experience, and the type of experience you want to have. Here are a few things to think about:
- Size and Shape: When you’re starting out, it’s a good idea to choose a dildo that’s on the smaller side—nothing too big or intimidating. Most beginners start with something around 4 to 6 inches. Once you get more comfortable, you can experiment with bigger sizes or different shapes, depending on your preferences.
- Material: Go for non-porous materials like silicone or glass. Silicone is the most popular option because it’s safe, easy to clean, and feels great. Make sure it’s body-safe and hypoallergenic.
- Wearable Double Dildos: These are perfect if you and your partner want to double the fun. A wearable double dildo allows both partners to experience penetration at the same time. One end is worn by the penetrating partner, while the other end is used for the receiving partner. It’s a unique and fun way to take pegging to the next level.
- Additional Features: Some dildos come with a vibrating feature, which can add extra pleasure for both the wearer and the receiver. If you’re looking to mix things up a bit, this can be a great option to try!
Looking to spice things up?
Check out Lovenes for app-controlled long-distance anal sex toys—perfect for couples looking to connect from afar!

Wearing and Using the Harness

Now that you’ve got the gear, let’s talk about actually wearing it and using it. First things first: make sure your harness is snug, but not too tight. You don’t want it to dig into your skin or restrict your movements, but it also needs to be secure enough that the dildo doesn’t move around.
Once it’s on, take a moment to adjust everything. This is where things can get a little more personalized: adjust the straps so they feel comfortable, make sure the dildo is positioned where it feels right, and get yourself in the mood to have fun.
Important Tip!
Practice makes perfect! You might feel a little awkward at first, especially if it’s your first time wearing a harness. That’s completely normal! The more you practice, the more natural it’ll feel.
Tips for Beginners

Starting pegging can feel exciting and a little intimidating, but with the right mindset and preparation, you’ll be ready to enjoy it. Here are some tips to make your first experience more relaxed and enjoyable.
For First-Timers: What You Should Know
- Mental Preparation: Pegging is as much a mental experience as a physical one. Set yourself up for success by being open, relaxed, and comfortable with your partner. Communicate your boundaries and concerns beforehand—it’s about mutual trust and exploration.
- Take Your Time: Start slow and explore the sensations gradually. A little warm-up (like finger play or small toys) can help you ease into it. Don’t rush; it’s okay to build up to the full experience.
- Don’t Worry About “Accidents”: It’s normal to be worried about things like accidents (we’re talking poop here!), but remember—it happens. To prepare, consider emptying your bowels beforehand, and don’t stress if things don’t go perfectly. It’s a totally natural part of the process, and there’s no shame in it. Just have some wipes or a towel handy, and keep the mood light if something happens.
- Aftercare: After the session, take time to check in emotionally and physically. Cuddle, talk, and relax. Taking care of each other afterward can make the experience feel even more rewarding.
- Be Ready for the Learning Curve: The first time might not go exactly as planned—and that’s okay! Stay relaxed, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and enjoy learning with your partner. It gets easier with practice!
The Benefits of Pegging

Now that you’re feeling a bit more confident and prepared, let’s talk about why so many people find pegging such a rewarding experience. It’s not just about the physical sensations—it can deepen intimacy, foster trust, and open up new avenues of pleasure for both partners. Here’s a breakdown of why pegging might just be worth exploring.
Enhances Intimacy: Pegging can break down barriers in a relationship and foster a deeper connection. It’s a vulnerable experience for both partners, and sharing that vulnerability can build trust, create stronger emotional bonds, and enhance overall intimacy.
Prostate Stimulation: For the receiving partner, pegging offers an opportunity for prostate stimulation, which can lead to powerful orgasms. It’s a unique form of pleasure that some may never have explored before, and it can heighten the sexual experience.
Increased Communication: Exploring pegging requires a lot of open communication between partners. Being comfortable talking about desires, boundaries, and feelings can improve communication in other areas of your relationship as well. It’s a great way to get on the same page about sex and build a more supportive connection
Talking About Pegging with Your Partner

Ready to bring up pegging with your partner? The key is open, honest, and non-pressuring communication. Here’s how to keep the conversation comfortable and respectful.
Starting the Conversation
- Pick the Right Moment: Choose a relaxed time to talk, where you’re both comfortable and not distracted.
- Be Honest but Casual: Keep it light. For example, “I’ve been thinking about trying pegging and would love to know your thoughts.”
- Share Your Interest: Explain why pegging excites you, whether it’s for the intimacy or the pleasure of exploring new things.
Respecting Boundaries
- Listen and Be Patient: Give your partner space to process and respond. Don’t rush them.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Discuss what’s comfortable and what’s off-limits for both of you.
- Be Prepared for “No”: If they’re not interested, respect their decision. It’s about mutual comfort, and that’s what matters most.
Conclusion
So, there you have it! Pegging can be a fun and intimate way to explore new dimensions of pleasure and connection with your partner. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to try something new, the key is to take it slow, communicate openly, and respect each other’s boundaries. It’s all about the journey—don’t stress about perfection.
With the right mindset, some good prep, and plenty of trust, pegging can be a rewarding and exciting experience for both of you.
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