Although there really isn’t much to cement these into a definitive PRO or CON list – because what works for one person might not work for another – these categories are the general consensus from a lot of people…
WHAT ARE THE PROS OF CASUAL SEX?
NO GAMES – It’s quite simple. I like you. You like me. We want to have sex. Here’s a condom. You can omit some of the negative dating crap we are sick of (like thinking we have to impress the other person or be someone we are not).
FREE TO BE – Because there are fewer or no attachments, and you might not even see them again, you are free to truly be yourself – kinky, wild, or whatever. You are also free in the broadest sense of the term.
LOWERED EXPECTATIONS – When we are looking for a long-term partner, we have a longer list of “must-haves”, but with simple hookups, we need less (and can still have a great time).
ORGASMS – If you weren’t getting enough before, you can (hopefully) have your fill. Orgasms are proven to be good for your mind and body. And, if you hook up with someone who has no idea how to give you one, you can move on to someone else.
STRESS RELIEF – One benefit of orgasms is stress relief. Always worth mentioning.
SHED DESPERATE VIBES – Sometimes we are so lonely or horny we give off really “thirsty” vibes. This can be a turn off for some people. But if you’re filling your personal orgasm quota, you won’t seem as needful.
YOU MIGHT MEET THE RIGHT ONE – Exploring the pool might help you find someone that’s right for you, or at least give you a better perspective on what you’re needs and wants are and what you’re willing to (not) compromise on.
FEWER RESPONSIBILITIES – Relationships come with a lot of extra dos and do nots etc. With casual sex, there are far fewer.
WHAT ARE THE CONS OF CASUAL SEX?
IT’S MORE DANGEROUS – The more you sleep around (I say this in a non-negative way), the greater the chances of pregnancy or STIs, even with protection.
PEOPLE CAN ATTACH – You or the other person might find yourselves dealing with unexpected, and possibly strong, emotions. This might be reciprocated, it might not, it might scare the other person away, or you might land in an unhealthy relationship. Who knows.
YOU MIGHT MISS THE “RIGHT ONE” – You’re so busy sowing your wild oats that you don’t take a closer look at people. You might pass over someone that would be great in a long-term relationship (if that’s something you want).
SOCIAL STIGMA – Not everyone is on board with the casual sex train. Some people still use the term slut, dog, or walk of shame. Whether you let that affect you is up to you.
NO EXTRA BENEFITS – “Just sex” can be great, but there are some things just can’t get on this path.
LOSS OF A FRIEND – If you’re doing the “friends with benefits” thing, there is the chance it might backfire and you lose someone.
OTHER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SHALLOW – I see this in the con list of many articles. Some people think that casual sex will always lack any level of depth or connection. That’s just not true. You CAN have an encounter and cuddles after. Also, you can call someone honey or sexy. You don’t have to treat the other person as a mere sex object, give some affection and respect, and still maintain the casual aspect.
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SELFISH – This is a misconception. Yes, you are free and you want your pleasure, but you should also make sure the other person has fun too.
COMMUNICATION – You’ll still need some degree of conversation before and during your encounters. Whether it’s making your side clear (and letting the other person decide if they want to participate) or just communicating during sex so you both have fun.
If you want more useful articles, you might like these…
- Important Terms You Might Need to Update – Sexuality Definition
- 5 Simple Ways to Improve Sex – Get More Out of Your Pillow Play
- 10 Reasons You Should Start Having Slow Sex Right Now
BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF – This can be hard for some people. You have to truly be at peace with that you want and need. Is what you’re doing healthy? Is it necessary? Do you truly want freedom or are you just scared of commitment and being hurt?
IT MIGHT BE NECESSARY – I’ll get a bit personal here. I was in two very long-term relationships (one being a marriage). Both ended in disaster. I was never given the chance to truly be myself or even find out what that was. I wasn’t able to find my own identity, power, and confidence. My self-worth was always attached to my love for another. Casual sex was actually recommended to me by my therapist. That doesn’t mean I’ll never want a relationship again, but non-commitment can be curing.
IT COULD BE DIFFICULT – Dating is hard. So is finding people to hook up with – at least people you’re comfortable and “click” with. It might sound glorious to some people, but it’s not all roses (neither are relationships for that matter).
Want to add any casual sex advice? Share in the comments!
