Fingering is often only used briefly during foreplay, done like bad porn, or skipped altogether. But did you know that you can have it be the entire event and just as amazing as your best intercourse session?
Also, if done well, she’ll be super happy – wobbly and shaking, but super happy.
Here are some simple, idiot-proof ways to be a fingering master…
1. IT’S NOT JUST THE HOLE
First, and probably most important, thing to remember is that it isn’t just sticking two fingers in and pretending you’re a jackhammer. It can be an event all on its own and should be treated as such.
How?
Understand that there are MANY parts to play with:
- Pubic Mound – the bump over the pelvic bone
- Outer Labia – the out lips covered in hair
- Inner labia – the lips with no hair that fold over the vagina
- Vaginal Opening – the opening you have intercourse in
- Clitoris – a nub at the top of the labia lips
The mound and outer labia don’t have as many nerve endings but are great for foreplay/warming up. After that, the inner lips, vagina, clit will be your focus areas. You can also go past the vagina and play with the perineum (the area just before the anus).
All areas should get some attention.
2. NO DIRTY DIGITS
Long, unkempt, and dirty fingernails should never go near a vagina. Ever. Aside from cuts, you run the risk of giving her various infections. Not cool. Make sure you keep your nails SHORT and filed (to take any jagged edges off) and work that soap and water like your life depended on it.
3. USE LUBE
There are many things that can affect a woman’s personal “moisturizer” – stress, medicine, hormones etc. And there’s nothing more uncomfortable than dry insertion. Even if she’s dripping, it never hurts to add some water-based sex lube. The experience will be all-around better if you do.
4. SEARCH HER NUANCES
Every woman is different, and you’ll have to spend some time experimenting with different pressure and movements to find out what and where she REALLY likes it. This comes from watching her reactions, how/if she moans, or just asking if she likes it or what she wants done differently.
5. GO SLOW
Take your time going through all the motions instead of jumping right to the hardcore fun. This is especially important for the clit – because even if it’s a powerhouse of nerves, going for it right off the bat will often be really uncomfortable or downright painful.
There’s also kissing, caressing, licking, sucking, gentle nibbling. Tease the daylights out of her until she’s begging for more – that’s how you know you’re doing a good job.
6. ACTUAL INSERTION
When you’re ready to step into the final stages of fingering, remember that you still need to take your time. As for how many fingers, it depends on the girl. Some like one, others like all five. Start with one and build up until she’s happy.
A great move is to run your finger(s) along the clit as you go for the first insertion. Then, gently thrust in and out, building in strength and/or speed (while watching her reactions).
7. GSPOT & STUFF
I won’t go into detail about how to massage the g-spot (there are plenty of guides on that already), but it’s often the second magic button for women and definitely worth exploring. If she’s into anal stimulation, you can use another finger on the same hand (often called the “shocker”). Just make sure she likes it first!
And, don’t forget you have another hand! Use it to caress the rest of her body and other parts of her nether regions.
8. KEEP HER RELAXED
Women often have trouble orgasming because they’re worried about something – how the other person is feeling, how they look, if they’re taking too long, insecurities, etc. Even without any stress, it can take a while.
Remind her everything is okay and she has all the time in the world – and that everything about her is sexy AF. Even if she doesn’t orgasm, it’s okay and you both can enjoy the experience.
9. TRY A TOY
Sometimes, vibrations can be your best friend – either for coaxing out an orgasm or making them extra-body-shaking-good. A bullet vibrator or magic wand is often the go-tos for this sort of fun.
Here’s a VERY versatile bullet vibrator. Perfect for fingering fun!
Also, if you want more useful articles, check out these…
- 18+ Tips on How to Masturbate – A Self Pleasure Guide for Women
- 10 Tips on How to Make a Girl Squirt – Give the Ultimate Orgasm
- How To Go Down On A Girl – 14 Tips To Be A Cunnilingus Master
Any other fingering advice you want to add? Share in the comments!
